If you're looking for a potential spouse, it's common for others to tell you to "watch how he treats his mother."

Generally speaking, that is sound advice. When this occurs, it prompts another issue that should be taken into account when evaluating a person's character: "How does that individual regard his or her elders?"

We are seeing an increasing number of poor responses to that query.

To give you an example, I was in a grocery checkout line that was slowed down by an old lady who was trying to find and count her money. Behind her were a group of younger individuals who were becoming increasingly irritated with the wait. One person began grumbling under his breath, while the others laughed derisively, using phrases such as "senile" and "senior moment" to describe the situation.

Kindly, the clerk assisted the lady and, after a bit more hassle, she got the task done. As she went out the door, I overheard one of these thuggish miscreants say, "Someone should put her out to pasture." "Your day will come," I informed them, leaning forward in my seat.

It wasn't long after that that I witnessed an outrageous road rage event in which some emotional dolt with an extremely short fuse was blaring, reaching out the window and yelling at the car in front of him, "Move it, grandfather!" As I approached this jerk at the next stoplight, he yelled at the driver and occupants of the so-called offending car in a language I am unable to translate.

He was directing his verbal vitriol towards an older couple who appeared to be both terrified and intimidated by his outburst. It became clear as the journey progressed that the older citizen in the driver's seat was driving carefully and within the posted speed limit. What was his crime? He was elderly and hence did not suffer from the same frenzied rush illness as the other drivers in his vicinity.

The prevalence of elder abuse is increasing.

Despite the fact that the frequency of elder abuse, both physical and emotional, is growing in our country (and is likely underreported), it appears that there is also an increase in an attitude of contempt for and impatience with the very old. A culture preoccupied with youth and intoxicated with speed and personal entitlement appears to be on the verge of losing its willingness to accept, much alone honor, our elderly.

"Part of it has to do with the disintegration of extended families," a wiser friend said.

Because fewer older people are living with their extended families, children are less likely to learn to respect and care for their grandparents, as well as for seniors in general, as they formerly were. Seniors are increasingly congregating in retirement communities and long-term care institutions, where they are isolated from the rest of society. As a result, individuals don't find time in their hectic schedules to include the elderly, creating a situation known as "out of sight, out of mind."

An anonymous senior confided in me, "Deep down, I believe it is because we terrify them." 'They don't want to accept that they will ever reach the age of my mother. And, have you ever witnessed a civilization that was more fearful of aging and death than this one?"

Other seniors have informed me that this is merely a symptom of a broader decline of civility and compassion in our culture. It's only that the elderly are better targets for opportunity since they appear less capable of defending themselves. Regardless of the underlying reasons, the consequences are abhorrent.

Do we really want to live in a society where the elderly are all too frequently forgotten and, when they do appear, treated as if they were old, worn-out shoes headed for the trash heap? That would mean we are throwing away a treasure mine of experiential wisdom that our elders have accumulated through years of dealing with life's obstacles, a value that many other cultures recognize, respect and rely on.

It is via the following anecdote that we can see our cultural ignorance in this regard. An irritated lady sends her son out to get a wooden bowl for her frail mother (his grandmother), who continually dropping and breaking their porcelain bowls. The son returns with the wooden bowl. When the boy returns, he delivers two bowls, rather than one as previously.

"I only wanted one!" his mother exclaims angrily.

"I got the second one specifically for you, for the day when you are elderly," her son responds.

Whatever bed the younger generation is constructing for their elders will eventually become their own.