Younger people are generally happier and more romantically attached than their older counterparts, which is contrary to the prevalent perception on the subject. The nature of these romantic ties, on the other hand, maybe quite different.

Maturity and contentment go hand in hand.

"It's exhilarating to experience mature calmness. "I am overjoyed by the peacefulness and acceptance of my elder lovers, who are completely focused on the present moment and not on the future prospects." — A man in his thirties who enjoys dating women in their fifties.

It has long been believed that, in addition to a deterioration in physical and mental abilities, happiness and romantic love diminish as one grows older. We now understand better. The majority of older individuals report that they are happier and more pleased with their lives and marriages than younger ones.

Perhaps, as we come to terms with the fact that our days are numbered, we shift our viewpoint and concentrate on the current pleasant experiences, which are more likely to include feelings of calm and serenity than feelings of excitement and delight. Sonja Lyubomirsky (2013) summarizes these findings, stating that, for many people, the finest years of their lives occur in the second half of their lives, according to her research. The fact is that this place has an incredible variety and that some older people feel unhappy and fearful of death as a result of it.

Maturity appears to be in direct opposition to novelty and excitement. It's no surprise that young individuals are perceived to be more emotional than older folks. This, of course, does not rule out the possibility of exciting positive, as well as bad, experiences occurring at any time in one's life. Change generates intense emotions, whereas maturation entails becoming accustomed to changes and perceiving them as less relevant as time passes. Despite the fact that we love both familiarity and novelty at all ages, the relative importance of familiarity grows as we become older.

The happiness associated with intense love can be defined as excitement; the happiness associated with profound, mature love can be described as peacefulness (calmness) and serenity; the happiness associated with strong love can be described as excitement (Mogilner et al., 2011). The transition from youth to old age involves a shift in close social relationships, as well as a shift in the focus from number to quality in those relationships. It has been proposed that the most important developing challenge for younger couples is conflict management, whereas the most important developmental task for elderly couples is maintaining mutual support (Carmichael et al., 2015).

Maturity and willingness to make concessions

The concessions we make in our romantic lives involve giving up a romantic value, such as intense love, in exchange for a non-romantic value, such as a higher quality of life. Such accommodation is motivated by the recognition that we are finite creatures who are unable to always fulfill our own standards or reach our own aspirations. To survive, we must occasionally be willing to accept something less than we would have preferred, or even something completely different from what we would have chosen.

Romantic concessions are an expression of a certain level of maturity. The acceptance of our limitations and existing conditions, as seen in maturity, is reflected in compromise. The acceptance of compromises, on the other hand, differs from maturity in that it is primarily a behavioral acceptance rather than an attitude acceptance. As long as the situation is still perceived as a compromise, the individual does not truly embrace it on a conscious level. At the point at which people unconditionally accept a compromise, the compromise ceases to be a compromise.

Love at a later stage in life

Mature love is not always indicative of the kind of intense romantic love that we all yearn for. Because of this, many people express a desire to remain children forever, reasoning that accepting what is possible while neglecting what is desirable can be a sign of waning excitement and spontaneity. People, on the other hand, do exactly this when they agree to a compromise.

It is our hope that kids mature and learn to appreciate long-term issues, while we hope that adults worry less about long-term threats and be more expressive with their feelings. We don't want to lose sight of our pleasant, childlike characteristics. We want to be positive and truthful, and we want to love with all of our hearts. Despite our obvious imperfections, we wish to adore each other despite our differences.

We want to be able to communicate effectively with one another, but we also want to be able to see each other in a favorable light so that we may have some positive illusions about one another. When it comes to long-term romantic relationships, we want to keep the vigor, naturalness, and ardor that we associate with children while still being mature adults who stand by each other through the anguish that eventually arises. Instead of trying to change each other, we seek to change our perceptions of and attitudes toward one another in order to overcome problems.

The characteristics of people who act in an immature manner are really attractive: they are extremely vivacious, joyous, and youthful, and they live each moment as if there is no tomorrow. Their behavior is often unpredictable and unstable, making you question whether they will still love you tomorrow when they meet another interesting person who enables them to completely experience romantic life from a different perspective. They are similar to children in this regard.

Love in one's golden years

Old people, according to popular belief, are incapable of experiencing intense love because their sexual desire and physical powers are assumed to have waned as a result of their advanced age. This is a naive and erroneous conception of the world. It is frequently the case that love at an older age is more profound than love at a younger age.

Despite the fact that chronological age is a strong (though not perfect) predictor of cognitive ability and conduct in early adulthood, it is a poor predictor in later adulthood, according to Laura Carstensen (2006). A further temporal factor that becomes more relevant than the amount of time that has passed since our birth is our subjective perception of how much time we have left until death.

The extent to which our horizons are temporally extended has a significant impact on our motivation. Carstensen contends that as people grow older and come to understand time as finite and their vistas as gradually narrowing, they alter their priorities as a result of these experiences. Examples include placing less emphasis on goals that broaden their horizons and placing a higher emphasis on goals that provide them with immediate emotional value.

Older people have smaller social networks than younger people, are less attracted to novelty than younger people, and have narrower domains of interest than younger people. Despite this, they look to be as happy as (if not happier than) younger individuals in their appearance. This makes sense because, in a situation where horizons are shrinking, people prioritize expanding existing relationships and increasing competence in areas of life that are currently fulfilling to them (Carstensen, 2006).

Elderly couples appear to be more willing to adopt the attitude of being content with their station in life. Take, for example, the following confession from a single mother in her forties:

"I'm on the lookout for perfection, and I've made some poor decisions in my search." I decline offers to spend time with males because I believe that these men are far from flawless. As I grow older, I appear to be becoming more mellow, but I also appear to be becoming more clear about what I enjoy and desire. My goal is to avoid superficiality at all costs; nonetheless, this is the first time in my life that I am contemplating having sex with someone who I do not regard to be "relationship material!"

Older people frequently perceive their partners as affectionate, even when they disagree or when they are working together on a task together. It is possible that older couples have fewer marital difficulties than their younger counterparts, despite the fact that romantic bonds are less prominent in their life. Companionate love, which appears to be built on friendship, appears to be the defining characteristic of their encounters. Couples' intimate relationships are largely harmonious and satisfying in their golden years (Charles Carstensen, 2002).

As we grow older, romantic concessions become less of a problem. People grow accustomed to their spouse's bad characteristics over time. They learn to live with them while reducing the negative influence they have on their daily lives. When we know that we are running out of time and that our options are becoming fewer, we are more likely to accept our constraints and not feel compromised by not pursuing an appealing choice.

Furthermore, as older individuals become increasingly reliant on one another, marital chains have a tendency to transform into a network of helping hands. Despite experiencing as much negativity as younger people, older adults may be more resilient in the face of problems in their closest relationships, according to some research. Older folks are better equipped to put the disagreement in context than younger adults (Charles Carstensen, 2010).

Lastly, some words of wisdom

It appears that as people grow older, their cognitive and physical capacities deteriorate, their ability to be content with one's own lot grows, resulting in a reduction in marital conflicts as well as the experience of sexual compromise. Older people are more likely than younger ones to have a positive attitude that encourages them to make the most of what they currently (or already) have. Their primary interest is not with acquiring more, but with reducing their losses.

Old people are not beyond the reach of love.