Old ladies with horns and filthy old guys. These regularly used expressions convey a great deal about how society perceives older individuals who are interested in sex in general.

According to experts, pejorative names like these reflect a profound level of discomfort in our youth-oriented culture with the thought that seniors are sexually active in their later years. Because sex is associated with reproduction, youthful appearance, and power, most young and even middle-aged people do not want to face the inevitable reality of growing older.

Sexual intimacy among older Americans is therefore a topic about which many are reluctant to speak openly. According to specialists, the quiet allows misunderstandings to develop, such as the widely held belief that elders lose interest in sex and are, or should be, asexual.

In the face of an onslaught of research that has helped to debunk popular notions that older people don't have sex or don't like it, experts say the negative perceptions couldn't be farther from the truth.

"There are no age restrictions on sexuality or sexual engagement," says Stephanie A. Sanders, Ph.D., a senior scientist at the Kinsey Institute for Sexual Studies at Indiana University, which conducts sexual research. As people grow older, their desire for and ability to execute sexual acts will normally drop modestly. However, studies show that the vast majority of men and women between the ages of 50 and 80 are still excited about sexuality and intimacy at their age.

The advice of geriatrics specialist Walter M. Bortz, author of three books on healthy aging as well as numerous research on seniors' sexuality, is "use it or lose it." A professor at Stanford Medical School, Dr. Bortz has served as president of the American Geriatrics Society and as co-chair of the American Medical Association's Task Force on Aging.

'If you keep your interest, keep your health in check, keep your meds out of your system, and keep your partner in your life, you can have fantastic sex until the end of your life,' he says. According to Duke University research, almost 20% of persons over the age of 65 have sex lives that are better than they have ever had, he continues.

And, while not everyone desires or requires a sexually active lifestyle, many people maintain a sexual orientation throughout their lives. "There's compelling evidence all throughout that it's a matter of survival," Dr. Bortz asserts. "People who have sexual relations live longer lives. People who are married live longer lives. People are in desperate need of one another. The more personal the relationship, the greater the potency of the impacts on the body."

Although it is unlikely, older adults may confront an unexpected impediment in the form of their adult offspring, who may be less than delighted to learn that their elderly parents are sexual beings. According to the late Dr. Jack Parlow, a retired clinical psychologist in Toronto, such critical views prohibit many older people from moving in together or even inviting their partner over for dinner. This mentality, he told reporters, "creates a barrier for many elders who desire to engage in sexual activity."

Although it is likely that the topic may lose some of its taboo statuses as the baby boom generation approaches its golden years, Older adults are currently the fastest-growing group of the population in the United States, thanks to a surge in their numbers and a significant increase in life expectancy. According to the United States Census Bureau, one in every 10 Americans was 65 years old or older in 2000. Approximately one in every five Americans will be 65 or older by 2030, according to current projections.

'I intend to continue having sexual relations for as long as I am able.'

Louise Wellborn*, 73, of Atlanta, Georgia, is a firm believer in the benefits of having wonderful sex at any age, even her own. In the words of the former businesswoman, "Sex keeps you energetic and alive." "I believe it is as healthful as it possibly can be, and I am certain of it. That is what enabled my spouse to survive for such a long period of time when he was unwell. Regardless matter the type of sex we desired, we could have it whenever we wanted."

The death of her spouse from Alzheimer's disease had left Wellborn grieving for several years when she established a new relationship with an elderly gentleman in his 80s. She claims that they have had intercourse on occasion, but that they generally enjoy each other's companionship. "He really wants to have an erection, but it's really difficult for him," she explains. "Given his age and physical appearance, it's possible that the cardiac medicine he's taking is the source of his condition. Basically, we just have sex in a different way, which I don't mind at all, and we're quite affectionate with each other. He says it's wonderful to be able to wake up next to me."

The fact that she had a mastectomy two years ago after being diagnosed with breast cancer has had no effect on her self-image as a sexual being, partly because Wellborn has had a lifelong positive attitude about sexuality.

Her personal experience lends credence to specialists' claims that habits of sexuality are established earlier in life. They also point out that if one maintains a consistent level of sexual activity throughout one's life, the biological changes linked with aging are less noticeable and sexuality is less impaired.

According to Wellborn, she and her husband were profoundly in love at the time. She and her spouse had more freedom to express their sexuality when their children had left home and her husband had retired. She claims that she and her husband had sex three to four times a week when their children were at home, but that once they were on their own, they had sex nearly every single day.

"I intend to continue having sexual relations for as long as I am able," she says. "I can't think of any reason not to, and I can think of a slew of reasons why I should. After having a wonderful loving man and having a healthy sexual life, you will miss it tremendously if you decide to stop. Throughout my life, I've dealt with everything from cancer surgery to shingles, and I've maintained a sexually active lifestyle."

The importance of sexuality has changed, but it has not diminished.

However, while Wellborn's willingness to talk openly about sex — as well as the frequency with which she has had it — is unique, her point of view is not. One benefit of becoming older is that personal relationships can become more important as children and work take a backseat to other commitments. Seniors have more time and energy to spend to enhance their love lives than younger people. In addition, while some seniors may be compelled to give up physically demanding activities, sex is a bodily pleasure that many older people eagerly embrace.

According to an AARP survey, a clear majority of men and women aged 45 and older believe that having a good sexual relationship is crucial to their overall quality of living (the organization formerly known as the American Association of Retired Persons). According to a 2018 survey, nearly two-thirds of Americans aged 65 to 80 expressed an interest in sex, with more than 40% of those aged 65 to 80 reporting being sexually active.

A poll done by the National Council on Aging revealed results that were similar to those found in the previous survey (NCOA). According to the findings of the study, over half of all Americans aged 60 and older have sex at least once a month, with nearly half expressing a desire to have sex more frequently. Another conclusion is that people become more physically attractive to their partners over time.

If you ask Cornelia Spindel, who married her husband Gerald when she was 72, making love only gets better with age, according to her. After Gerry Spindel accompanied his wife, who was suffering from Alzheimer's disease to a kosher dietary program where Cornelia, a widow, and volunteer, the two became acquainted. The two became good friends over time, and following his wife's death, they began to have sexual relations. When Gerald proposed to her, she happily accepted his offer. Cornelia said, "Now, Cornelia added, "We have the feeling of being young loves or newlyweds. In my opinion, I was able to make love better at the age of 30 than I was at the age of 20, and now I have a lifetime of experience."

Her husband agreed and expressed dissatisfaction with the patronizing attitude many people have toward elderly people who are in serious relationships. "When people ask how long we've been married, we tell them we've been married for two years, and they respond, 'Oh, that's so cute.' We're 'cute,' right? 'What exactly does that mean?"

Cornelia Spindel was in agreement. "I'm completely clueless when it comes to being attractive. Our romantic relationship is really warm. And it's quite rewarding."

Treatments for sexual dysfunction are being developed.

When it comes to aging, both men and women should expect normal physiological changes that may have an impact on how they feel sex. According to experts, these changes are not usually a hindrance to having a fulfilling sex life, although couples may have to spend more time preparing for arousal.

As an example, women after menopause have fewer estrogen levels, which results in decreased vaginal lubrication and flexibility in the vaginal area. In many circumstances, something as easy as applying a water-based lubricant such as KY Jelly might alleviate the dryness that has developed. In the case of more challenging illnesses, doctors can recommend alternative treatments.

Men may experience impotence or have greater difficulty obtaining and maintaining erections as their blood circulation decreases and their testosterone levels fall as a result of these changes. Men who have a family history of heart disease, hypertension, or diabetes are also more likely to experience impotence. However, sildenafil citrate (Viagra), vardenafil (Levitra), and tadalafil (Cialis) have now been shown to be effective in treating certain older men who had previously failed to respond to other medications. However, some specialists are concerned that these drugs may contribute to an increase in the number of AIDS cases among individuals over 50 because they are less likely to take precautions; they advise older people who are dating to practice safe sex.

A number of studies have also shown that the supplement ginkgo Biloba, which enhances circulation, may be beneficial in the treatment of impotence, however, others have found no such benefit. Men should always consult with their physicians before taking this medication. Ginkgo can, among other things, interact with anticoagulants, increasing the risk of a stroke. Despite these encouraging prognoses, research has revealed that only a small proportion of seniors who are eligible for sexual health services actually seek them. Although specialists agree that major medical issues should not prevent elders from having a good sex life, they believe that this is a shame. If a senior has lost interest in sex or is experiencing sexual issues, he or she should consult with a doctor. Several sedatives, most antidepressants, excessive alcohol use, as well as some prescription medicines, have side effects that might interfere with sexual activity; a doctor can assist with medication adjustments or setting guidelines for alcohol consumption. Illnesses, disabilities, and surgical procedures can all have an impact on sexuality, although in most cases, even disease does not prevent people from engaging in sexual activity.

The absence of a partner

Age-related bodily changes can provide older persons with an opportunity to rejuvenate their lovemaking by focusing more on intimacy and closeness rather than purely sexual intimacy and closeness. They can demonstrate their affection and intimacy in other ways, such as snuggling, kissing, and caressing, because they are often less focused with performance.

In the words of Christopher Rhoades,* 66, a San Francisco Bay Area college professor who has been married for 18 years: "Sex is being warm and loving; sex isn't just sex." Rhoades has been married for 18 years. Lie next to a naked woman's body and feel good about yourself.

Rhoades claims that as he gets older, he no longer feels the "compulsion" to have sexual relations in the same way that he did when he was younger. Because he has a grown son who still lives at home, he says he makes love less frequently than he would like, but he still enjoys it tremendously. "There is a wonderful beauty in being able to live without the pressures of necessity. Sex becomes more of a personal preference, and it becomes more engaging and intriguing for each partner as a result "he explains.

For older women who are widowed, divorced, or living alone, finding a spouse may prove to be a difficult endeavor. According to a number of statistics, women account for the vast majority of the elderly who do not have spouses. The reasons are as follows: women have longer lives than males, and healthy older men are more likely to marry younger women. Women above the age of 50 are also considered less attractive by society than their male counterparts, a double standard that feminist organizations have long denounced.

Female social and sexual activity declines significantly as women reach their senior years as a result of this "partner gap." According to the NCOA survey, older males are more likely than older women to be married and have a sex partner than older women.

According to Dr. Bortz, the most significant hindrance to sex later in life for males is "biology or hydraulics." "Opportunity and availability are the most important factors for women."

Mia Pickering,* a 74-year-old author from San Diego, is all too familiar with the situation. She has been widowed twice in her 20-year marriages and is now single once more. "A young, energetic man with much to offer can find a lady who is 10 or 20 years younger than himself, which leaves women in my age bracket out of the running," she explains.

She has gone on blind dates and deliberately sought out partners through dating sites and personal advertisements because she is missing male companionship. She describes this as an exercise in "futility and irritation," and she believes it is.

Ms. Pickering, like many other seniors, desires to have sex and intimacy in her life despite the difficulties she has. "At this stage, there isn't a lot of loose lust floating about in my head," she explains. 'My sex drive has waned,' I admit, but if I met a man who was truly attractive and interested in me, I could get it back on track.'

* Some of the names have been changed. Since then, Louise Wellborn has passed away.