KBS2’s Yoo Hee Yeol’s Sketchbook is a wildly popular music program that combines a live music and talk show format. Hosted by musician and radio DJ Yoo Hee Yeol, K-pop artists of all stripes appear on the show to sing their hits and talk about anything under the sun.

When fourth-generation group TOMORROW X TOGETHER went on the show, the MC asked their mat-hyung Yeonjun about the nickname he had when he was a trainee. Back then, he was called “BLT.” Not the sandwich made of bacon, lettuce, and tomato, mind you—in his case, those letters stand for “BigHit Entertainment’s Legendary Trainee.”

Yeonjun became really shy when Yoo Hee Yeol brought up his nickname. He tried to deny it, but his bandmates encouraged him to own it because he deserves to. Taehyun even gushed about Yeonjun’s dancing ability. He told the MC, “He’s a phenomenal dancer.”

As his bandmates tell it, Yeonjun earned that nickname because he often topped their monthly evaluations in dancing, rapping, and singing. On top of the basic training he received from his agency, he also signed up for extra classes to further sharpen his skills. In other words, while it’s true that he excelled at pretty much everything he did as a trainee, that was only because of all the effort he put in.

He recently sat down for an interview with Weverse Magazine, where he opened up about the effect that nickname had on him. As the story goes, when he met the other members of TOMORROW X TOGETHER for the first time Yeonjun introduced himself by crowing, “First in dancing, first in rapping, first in singing, Choi Yeonjun, that’s me!”

“I said it once as a joke, but people kept telling me to be more confident. They asked, ‘Why are you so shy?’ I had many shortcomings back then. I was so proud when I became number one that I went around saying, ‘I’m number one!’ I bragged,” he laughed.

However, the bragging was short-lived as reality set in.

“Earning those titles made me think that the time I spent practicing was worthwhile. I was happy to be recognized, but I also thought it meant I should work even harder. If you always get first place, you have nowhere to go except down if you don’t keep it up. I felt so much pressure to hold on to my position. Like, even if I was first overall, I’d really lose my self-esteem if I only placed second in dancing or singing. I think that’s why I kept pushing myself,” he said.

Because he worked so hard, he came off as “intense.” Some of the other trainees considered him unapproachable.

“It was hard for them to talk to me because I was always frowning from how tired I was back then. But they said that once they got to know me they thought I was silly and soft,” Yeonjun laughs. “I was short in middle school. I still had my baby fat, and my voice changed late, so people would always say I was cute, like a baby. That made me want to look strong and cool. But now that I’m grown up, when I hear people say that, I don’t feel bad. I just say, ‘Everybody has their own thing,’ and move on.”

Yeonjun added that the pressure he felt back then was healthy because it spurred him on to greater heights.

“I’m the only one in this team who learned to dance at an academy. Some of my friends didn’t even plan on becoming idols, so they started out not knowing a lot about dancing. They didn’t have any professional experience in singing, either. But once they started to practice, they became totally ambitious. They gave dancing and singing their all, so they became great performers when they eventually debuted. A part of me became anxious. I started thinking things like, ‘I can’t let myself fall behind’ or ‘I have to be better than them.’ I don’t think that’s a problem, though. You need to feel a certain amount of pressure to keep growing,” he explained.

You know how pressure can turn coal into diamonds? That’s what Yeonjun meant when he said pressure helped him grow when he was a trainee. The thing with him is that he knows how to channel the pressure he feels into something positive and useful. It threatens to overwhelm him sometimes, but Yeonjun always manages to use it to better himself.

“There are times when I can’t sleep because I get lost in my thoughts or worries,” he admits. “Sometimes I think so deeply I feel bad, regardless of whether my thoughts are bad or good. You can say it’s being thorough, but when it eats away at you like that, it stops being good eventually. For the minisode1: Blue Hour comeback show, I kept filming the fancam until I was satisfied. Forcing myself to do better stresses me out, but it helps me grow. I’ve never been satisfied with myself and I still don’t think I’m good enough, but I think it’s good to have that kind of mindset. Because it all comes together to bring me closer to the perfect performance.”

As the main dancer of TOMORROW X TOGETHER, Yeonjun is known for his fancy footwork. However, he says that he wasn’t born an outstanding dancer. Some may say that dancers are born, not made, but Yeonjun says that’s definitely not true in his case. He spilled copious amounts of blood, sweat, and tears to get to where he is today.

“I’m not a natural-born dancer. In the beginning I was told that although the shape of my body was good, I lacked muscle. So I worked really hard to build my strength. I also believe the basics are important in dancing. Even while learning lots of movements, I constantly practice the basics. I improved little by little by copying choreographies in different ways, too, and watching good dancers.”

He used to have low self-esteem when he was a kid, but he’s come a long way since then. He still doubts himself sometimes, but now he knows how to handle himself when that happens.

“Even now I don’t think of myself as outstanding. I still think I fall short but I try to avoid expressing it to others. I try my hardest to give myself an air of confidence, which boosts my self-esteem. I put on a brave face while staying objective on the inside,” he said.

He also told Weverse Magazine that he’s trying to be less timid lately as a way to love himself more.

“I said that because of everything I’ve been through and struggled with. I wouldn’t have made it here without the experiences that I considered failures at the time. I never liked being compared to other people, but I was really timid as a kid. I would compare myself to those around me and put myself down. At some point I decided to fix that, because I have to love myself before I can love anyone else. I don’t think I can do anything if I’m not confident. When I started out as a singer, I lacked confidence and self-love so I kept putting myself down. That meant I always felt so intimidated, but since I learned to love myself I’ve grown more confident and relaxed.”

That newfound confidence has helped Yeonjun set new goals for himself. TOMORROW X TOGETHER has broken and set many records since their debut in 2019, but there are certain mountains he dreams of climbing.

“I want to try making my own brand. I also want to have one of the songs I wrote be a lead single. There’s so much I want to do. I hope I can show off all my artistic sides.”